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almightytampon

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Bug Season [Jun. 1st, 2006|01:29 pm]
almightytampon
[mood |scaredscared]

I HATE this time of year! Why? Because it's when the god damn bugs come out to play. Wasps come through the front door. Flies come in through my bedroom window. Moths & Daddylonglegs come from the back door and maul the bright kitchen light. And SPIDERS just materialize out of no where in my damn room! GO AWAAAAAAAAAY!

Last night I was attacked by the biggest damn spider I have ever seen in my life. It was the size of my frigging thumb! It crawled out from behind the TV and fell off the wall (lol worst spider ever) when I hesitated to squish it then it vanished and while I was looking for it it seems it crawled under my computer desk as I seemed to have stood on it... in bare feet D:
I don't know why they're always in my damn room. My mother's window is open slightly all year round (cus she broke it) and you never ever ever see bugs in there. They must be scared of her :( Arrrrgh!

Why must I show Spiders mercy? Get out of my house! I should SQUISH immediately. I'm never going anywhere without a boot from now on.
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UPDAT!!1 [May. 22nd, 2006|08:28 pm]
almightytampon
[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |The Von Bondies - C'mon, C'mon]

Hello. Not much going on, as usual, hence my lack of updates.

I got my computer fixed the other week, seems it was the power supply dying or something. Hopefully my computer will last me another 2 years now :P But i'll admit this PC is SCREAMING for a format. It IS really is clogged with crap. I'll get round to it... eventually.

On Saturday the MARVELOUS Eurovision Song Contest was on. Best time of the year! ...usually. This year was pretty freaking terrible. Greece won last year with some sexy skank and hot dancers, in fact, the one thing you always expect from Eurovision is sexy dancers, slutty singers, crappy hosts and basically 3 hours of pure cheese! Well, the cheese was still there but mostly it was just bad. Not that funny. Not even that sexy - even GREECE who usually have HAWT (2 years ago was some phwoar factor man, last year the skank with sexy dancers) people performing but this year they had some old piece of meat with no dancers. On top of all that... the hosts were just crap and personalityless. One of them was American ... OR she was trying terribly hard to impersonate an American accent, either way... oh the shame. The fun thing about Eurovision is culture, or a horrible clash there of, like Germany singing a Country & Western song... oh poor Germany, every year they seem to lose the plot... I like it being completely American-free, we get enough American crap on the TV as it is. Fun to hear all the accents and songs in different languages. /shoo Americans (no offence). There was loads of really bad RNB/Hip Hop acts this year. I prefer crappy Pop love songs than that rubbish, like the UK entry was some 36 year old man in a tracksuit 'rapping' with a bunch of teenage girls dressed in school uniforms about "Teenage Life" ... gross.

Overall Finland won with some people dressed up as Demons doing their "hard rock" ... LOL. It was the softest piece of 'hard rock' i've ever heard - but that's what makes Eurovision so great, I guess. GOOGLE 'Lordi' if you want to see them XD

The best part of Eurovision was when last year's winner performed at the start. But her dancers had their tops on this time. Boring :( I hope next years is better! But, there's always the under 16s Eurovision later this year to laugh at :D
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SLAP [May. 13th, 2006|02:31 pm]
almightytampon
Bonjour, je m'appelle Coco Chanel et chaque femme qui n'achètera pas mes objets se sentira stupide et inutile.

Best. Comedy Lab. Ever ;_;
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Cameron vs. Shitty Computer [Apr. 23rd, 2006|02:50 pm]
almightytampon
[mood |angryangry]

Past month or so my Computer has dramatically gone downhill. I thought nothing of it at first, but it has rapidly become a serious problem that I have no idea how to deal with. It began simply with it taking several attempts to successfully turn on but now it has developed into a situation where it will take me upto 30 attempts of turning my PC on/off at the wall and trying to turn it on as well as it randomly turning itself off while I'm using it. And the strangest thing of all? It works perfectly fine when it actually turns on - minus the fact that now when I put a CD/DVD in... it turns itself off. Sigh. Safe to say it's incredibly annoying.

If it continues and gets worse I am simply going to stop trying to turn the computer on, it's becoming a joke now and I get very frustrated with it constantly turning off when i'm in the middle of things - things that don't save themselves when the computer does this.

It's always too much to ask for a computer that doesn't cock up. Granted, this one has lasted me a while. But jeez. People never build things to last, do they? Either that or I just have bad luck with computers.
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Cameron vs. Sleep [Mar. 22nd, 2006|11:41 am]
almightytampon
[mood |tiredtired]

I hate getting up in the morning. But, I obviously prefer it over getting up at 3 in the afternoon and looking and feeling rough. It's just so very irritating to get up early, get things done, and then no matter how much sleep I actually got I'll get incredibly tired between noon and 3pm. But if I dare take a nap, I know I'll never be able to get to sleep at a reasonable time, no matter how long the nap, I'll be awake until 4am.

I do try to get up early but it gets harder and harder. For one, I am completely immune to my alarm clock. I can hear my mother's alarm clock going off... at 6am. I can hear my goddamn neighbour's alarm going off... at 11am. But my own alarm? Never! Yet, I can hear the bastard thing going off when I'm awake but in the room furthest away from my room.

Fuck you, sleep! Worthless evolutionary device!
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Oh God, here we go again [Mar. 12th, 2006|12:52 am]
almightytampon
[mood |blankblank]

I just recieved a mass email from my beloved Sister inviting me to her husband's 31st Birthday party. As if last years didn't sound (yes, I avoided going) bad enough - 1920s fancy dress - this year she wants us all to go Bowling in Shitty Sheffield. Sounds fine, right? Wrong. It's another idiotic, pretentious fancy dress thing.


....1950s 'retro' bowling....


Please. Fuck off.

I'm supposed to reply to the email saying 'yes' or 'no'. I wonder if she'll get the message if I reply saying simply "DELETE" or maybe "Ooo. Sorry, scheduling problems. That's the day I kill myself!"

On second thought, I should be nice. I don't want to go to hell, I'll end up meeting her there for 1950s bowling.

Bitch.
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Lol Britney [Feb. 27th, 2006|11:21 pm]
almightytampon
[mood |blank...]

So we just started getting those adverts here on the TV for Britney Spears™ new perfume. "Wow" is all I can say. I've never seen something so... pathetic and blatantly fake. I watched it for the first time with a look of disbelief, thinking 'is she for real with this bullshit?' and the second time with sheer laughter and the third time with disgust.

"Conceited, Washed Up Cunt" - The new fragrance from Britney Spears™
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Retribution [Feb. 26th, 2006|11:55 am]
almightytampon
[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |LOUD Gackt :D]

Cameron Vs. Students

Until about 3-4am last night my neighbours had music blaring. Not that I mind, too much. I just couldn't get to sleep because I was enjoying most of the songs, but I finally did, after an hour. But it was still quite annoying. So... now, assuming they are still asleep and hungover I have began the Retribution. Loud music back at them. Mwahahaha!

Eat shit, Students :>
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Hohoho [Dec. 27th, 2005|05:34 pm]
almightytampon
[mood |complacentcomplacent]
[music |Kelly Clarkson - Hear Me]

Well, actually, Xmas wasn't so bad. Alas, the puppets didn't dance to the tune I wrote! Bah! There was actually no fighting, but the whole damn day was just borrrrrrrrring. I got some good stuff and the meal was good. That's about it. What else can you ask for?

I ignored my brother completely. Shame my family didn't do the same. I refused to participate in a 'family game' my sister made, which was largely my brother talking ontop of everybody else and yelling stupid not funny jokes to get the attention of my sister, who finds every word he says hilarious. That's pretty much every event that includes my brother and sister, him constantly screaming for her attention and occassionally her husbands and everybody else sitting in silence or getting talked ontop of. Cretins.
The only time they bothered to talk to ME after the meal was to ask for my Family Guy DVDs. Of which they took and left me alone again. I might want to watch my own Xmas present you know? Assholes. On this occassion I went to the living room and watched the movie with them... which was largely ruined by my performing seal of a brother repeating every joke said and laughing as loud as physically possible.

I'm a bit fucked off that this morning my brother and my sister tried to sneak into my room while I was sleeping to steal a fucking cable from my PS2 for his new console he bought on ebay. What the fuck? Fuck off. Luckily they failed. For once my mother's need to unplug every wire, wrap it up and put it in a cupboard has annoyed somebody else into submission. Sly shitbags.

Anyway, apart from that and the 2 hours of annoyance on the day, the whole of Xmas was fine! Got far too much chocolate this Xmas though, so i'm scared of gaining 80lbs or something. I don't even like chocolate, my teeth are too sensitive! But it's so deliciously addictive ;___; Gonna have to bin most of it!

I also need to add those 3 new userpics. Anybody wanna make me some cool ones? :(
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I foresee a funfilled Xmas day! [Dec. 25th, 2005|03:59 am]
almightytampon
[mood |calmcalm]

FIRSTLY! Happy Birthday sexy Spike/Shawn! But yeah, important stuff now...

My sister got here on the 23rd. She stayed for food and left. She came back on Xmas eve and for food and left again. She and her husband said they were "ill" today when my mother asked them what they were doing this evening (Xmas eve). My sister said she and her husband were going to visit my grandmother but since they were ill they wouldn't be long and would come back with dinner. My mother phones my brother a little later to see what he was doing and he comes up with some elaborate story about also being sick.
Later, my mother calls sister after 4 hours of no contact and finds out that she's not coming back until tomorrow, for xmas dinner, because she, her husband and my brother went "out for a drink" with my 'Father'...

...and my mother hung up on her :D

My mother then spent all evening on the telephone to that man and my crazy aunt ranting about it. They told her "not to say anything until they leave" (on the 26th) and she agreed that was a good idea. As if. My mother will last 30mins at most before she starts fighting with them all. Xmas drama <3

Or, the most likely situation will be: My brother says something sarcastic to me so I tell him to fuck off and I leave the table. My mother argues with my brother about causing a fight, this will last an hour. My sister will then intervene and get shit slung at her by my mother for lying about what she was doing Xmas eve. Fun!

Dance puppets! Dance! :D
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